/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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I took my infant son to one of those dieaper changing stations in the women's restroom, but I think it was out of order.

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It was bad enough that the judge handed me a sentence for something that started out as a little family drama.

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What’s the difference between a pizza and a Jew

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I Pick Things Up.

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"Screw me on my Father's grave," she said while hoping on his tombstone, spreading her legs.

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Just as His Lordship was exiting the theater, I realized I'd left the royal passcodes on top of the doorway canopy. So I shouted at the usher:

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As a veterinarian I routinely neuter male dogs and cats, but I am notoriously clumsy.

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Last night she said, "I love you too".

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I’m always happier when drunk

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A florist named Chris started a band with 3 stay at home mum's in the neighborhood...

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I took my infant son to one of those dieaper changing stations in the women's restroom, but I think it was out of order.	1
It was bad enough that the judge handed me a sentence for something that started out as a little family drama.	1
What’s the difference between a pizza and a Jew	1
I Pick Things Up.	1
"Screw me on my Father's grave," she said while hoping on his tombstone, spreading her legs.	1
Just as His Lordship was exiting the theater, I realized I'd left the royal passcodes on top of the doorway canopy. So I shouted at the usher:	1
As a veterinarian I routinely neuter male dogs and cats, but I am notoriously clumsy.	1
Last night she said, "I love you too".	1
I’m always happier when drunk	1
A florist named Chris started a band with 3 stay at home mum's in the neighborhood...	1